k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
