You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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