he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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