I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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