They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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