I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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