Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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