This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
