just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
