so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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