I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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