that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
