I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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