fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
