what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
