Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
