i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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