I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
