Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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