you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
