Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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