i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
