I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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