I am in a vortex of obligation.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
