Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude i'm inner monologue high
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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