white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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