it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Barsexuality is the new black.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
