I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
