I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
