They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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