I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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