Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
