He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
