Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
that's an acceptable place to lick
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
