And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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