i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
