I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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