Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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