I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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