This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
