i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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