after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i think im in europe. pls send help
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
