and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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