Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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