and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
