I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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