please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
