Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Two words: nipple clamps
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