he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
