i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
