I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
